My friends are onscreen as tiny Zoom thumbnails. They are surrounded by objects that reveal their unique personalities. Someone’s wearing a heavy-duty headset…gamer girl, perhaps? Framed artworks…creatives, surely? Some have maps on the wall…well-traveled and adventurous types, yes? I wonder if they chose these spots or adjusted their things to be visible.
I check my own thumbnail and cringe. Behind me is empty space and a white wall. Its texture prevented me from sticking anything I cherish on it. Against the colorful mosaic of my classmates’ unique thumbnails, I was…plain.
It’s not that I don’t have personality, I reason, blood rushing to my cheeks. I glance at my own “Inspiration Board” with postcards, pictures, and my World Map (in Japanese, no less…how’s that for worldly?). These are unfortunately in front of my desk, out of view. I sigh. I want to physically move my desk. I want this character-defining wall to be seen by my Zoom friends!
The meeting begins. At times, I catch myself looking at my classmates instead of the slides. I want to know them more, through their environment and objects around them. Are they looking at me? I adjust the web camera slightly, letting it catch my flattering angle. I sit up straight and fiddle with my hair, trying as much as possible to make it presentable. Work with what you’ve got, right? But Zoom reflects my emptiness…and projects it to my cool classmates! In the end, I turn off all thumbnails except for the teacher’s.
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